Well this has been quite an interesting thread for me to read. With us having 3 cats as well as our dog, we really have to be consistent with our pack order. Our cats are always top, and we do everything we can to relay that to the dog. Daisy knows her place, but we do occasionally need to remind her of that. We would love to add a second dog, but scared we might disturb the current balance in the household.

Marie,
at one point not too long ago, we had 7 dogs and 3 cats in this household and several canine visitors from time-to-time. The dogs that lived here, grew up with the cats so they respected them and let them alone. Every puppy that has ever been bred here spent the first 8 weeks of their lives with cats and so there was never any issue having them move into families with cats.

When we rescued Marion Louise -- a street dog -- we had some concerns about how she would react to the cats. The first evening she stayed in our house, she had finally realized that she could sit on the couch with me and so she had crawled up there and OJ, our youngest cat, jumped onto the top of the back of the couch, laid down and placed his paw on Marion Louise. She accepted that act of trust the way we had hoped she would and she and OJ were fast friends for the rest of their lives.

The thing about this household is that there is a true alpha male and a true alpha "bitch" that all the animals can relate to: me and Linda. I don't say that lightly -- when you have a large, complex pack, you need clear direction and these guys get it from us. We are with them full-time since we work out of the house. None of the animals have ever felt the urge to "depose" us as the leaders of the pack. In fact, we make their lives much easier because they only have to be dogs and cats.

Jim

Jim,
there is philosophy and there is experience. Anybody who has had a number of dogs in their household and does not see inter-species hierarchical dynamics is blind.

As for what techniques have been debunked, stern discipline has not whether it's verbal or light physical and alpha rolls and scruff shakes are an essential part of canine dominance. You personally may not like that, but that doesn't make it untrue or unacceptable when used by someone that really understands when -- and when not -- to use it.

It is not "barbaric" to use force when necessary with dogs that both understand it and can tolerate it physically and psychologically. Again, it might not be in your bag of preferences but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for others.

My two main breeds have been Golden Retrievers and Rotties. I've had some very tough Goldens over the years that needed to understand their role in our household -- which is in fact a pack -- and I've had some incredibly sweet Rotties that needed to be encouraged to move into their role. Our primary training tool is love and reward. Which is why our dogs love us. But they also need to obey us and that's our job to teach them. We've been doing it for 40 years. All the philosophizing in the world is not going to debunk reality.

Jim

That's one of the problems. People that have been doing it "successfully" for long periods of time aren't willing to accept that there might actually be better ways.

Marie, we have 14 cats and 5 dogs. Not much disturbs our balance! LOL! But, in all fairness, our animals are used to us bringing home strays, new fosters, dumpoffs, etc. As long as you show your existing pets that you still love them, give them separate attention, your guys should be fine. Our cats don't even raise an eyebrow any more when a new cat shows up. Cody will usually walk up to the new comer and wash their face. That usually does it, the new foster/rescue has a buddy to curl up with. The other cats will not start anything, they just ignore the new cat.

Since getting the puppy though, we have only rescued 1 cat/kitten. I was unsure what Poohbear would do with the kitten, but he is quite gentle with it, unlike his wrestling with Cody and Buddy, who you would swear is WWIII.

I would pick a pup with a complimentary attitude to Daisy, if she tends to be a little hyper, pick out a laid back breed, and a male, to help insure no alpha bitch fights. You do NOT want one of those.

Good luck with your decision!

My personal belief is that we all need boundaries and rules and in my experience, dogs are most comfortable and happy when the boundaries and rules are clear and enforced by me the pack leader. I am tested daily by both my Rott and my Airedale Terrier, but IMHO they need to be reminded that our pack structure will remain constant. Training methods are just that" methods" and are as varied as "methods" of parenting children, one way does not mean the next person's way is right or wrong... just different.