You mention that you are looking for greeting card or callender quality leven rather than fine art. I must agree that it is not fine art. As for the others... maybe with a caption or story behind it. On a side note, with the simple compostion and empty spaces I think this photo may work as a stock photo.

Composition/use of frame space: Ballanced, but much empty space. The sea spray adds a nice dynamic.

Colors/White Balance: Fair, nice empty blue sky. Green sea.

Exposure: Harsh light and lost detail in the bird shadows.

Creative use of Aperture/Shutter: Birds and spray are sharp enough.

Perspective: Direct into the subject.

Creativity: Lacking. Nothing out of the ordinary or sparkling in the photo. Ordinary sea, sky, waves, pelicans. Not bad... just ordinary.

Emotion: Lacking. Same as Creativity. No drama or struggle.

Forethought/Visualization: I am drawn to the birds as the main subject of interest, but I am dissapointed there. No striking details, just almost silloettes coasting on the breeze.

Post processing: The lack of shadow detail is a problem for me.

This photo falls short between a good bird in flight shot and a landscape. Neither is spectacular, both fall short. The action is sedate, but not relaxing enough to be a pleasant tropical scene.

I think this picture falls inbetween two many things and doesn't land solidly.