Dee Dee,
a couple of suggestions:
1. meter up close off of the face and then set your camera for manual exposure planning for the DOF you want. You may blow out the background highlights but the subjects will always be right on.
2. there's a new PS plug-in that I'm testing that seems to give more control of shadow/highlight adjustments. Check out
http://www.thepluginsite.com/products/photowiz/lightmachine/index.htmI'm not sure it'll give you what you want but it can help with tough lighting situations.
Of course the best advice is to avoid tough lighting situations (duh)! Flat lighting on a cloudy day; shadows with no big highlights in the background; learn to use the flash which, BTW, does a great job of filling in the lighting you need if you don't do anything but get the exposure right.
You are much too creative and talented to get handcuffed by a lighting problem (although we all do -- alas). So learn to use that 580 and stop thinking and get back to being incredibly creative!!!
That's an order.
Jim
