OK, so tried the indoors shot again, this time taking the above suggestions into account.
I was not able to spend as much time as I would have liked on it, and I can see plenty of issues, but some expert comments would be very much appreciated!

I know it's boring having the same animals each time, but I live in a very remote area where the number of dogs is strictly controlled and cats and most other pets are not allowed.
As soon as I can get my hands on other subjects (hopefully with less black!) I will give them a try!

Many thanks!